My Love.
After listening to the letter from your dad, I was inspired to write my own for you. Happy birthday, Kyle! I love you with all of my heart, and I miss you like crazy. The last moments we had together still linger , lending a bittersweet quality to all that I do. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you. You are my reason for breathing; my inspiration. Seconds spent with you make my life worth living. You are my knight in shining armor, my everlasting love. Before long, I'll be able to spend my life next to you, sharing your breath, your bed, your life. Who would have guessed that a chance meeting would lead to something as all-consuming as this? All I knew was you were a strange boy, a very attractive one at that. I'm proud to call you my own, and I'm happy that I was able to spend such an important day with you. It is my dream to spend all birthdays with you.
I love you so much.
Cassandra
Friday, May 7, 2010
Sunday, November 29, 2009
November 29, 2009
You ask me why I'm mad, but I can't explain it to you because explaining it makes me want to cry.
I made a list of why I love you, and what I love about you, and one thing I wanted to put on there was 'Positive attitude' but I couldn't. You had a positive attitude when we met, but after we started dating, it disappeared.
I want you to be able to think positive with me, because the main reason we fight is because of your attitude. You always have this depressed attitude about everything. You are so pessimistic that it hurts sometimes.
I want to be happy. I need to be happy. But I can't be happy unless you are too. I seem happy to you sometimes, though, huh?
That's because I'm a good faker.
I made a list of why I love you, and what I love about you, and one thing I wanted to put on there was 'Positive attitude' but I couldn't. You had a positive attitude when we met, but after we started dating, it disappeared.
I want you to be able to think positive with me, because the main reason we fight is because of your attitude. You always have this depressed attitude about everything. You are so pessimistic that it hurts sometimes.
I want to be happy. I need to be happy. But I can't be happy unless you are too. I seem happy to you sometimes, though, huh?
That's because I'm a good faker.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
March 22, 2009
Baby-
I don't know how, but I know as soon as I see you, I won't be awkward, I won't be un-attracted to you, I won't be afraid to talk to you. I'll run to you, and hug you, and kiss you and to be honest, I'll probably cry too. I won't know what to do, so everything I do will seem different to you, because I'm just trying to get used to sharing air with you. There's no way I will instantly fall out of love with you. There's no way I'll have any negative feelings toward you.
Do you remember when you told me I started loving you differently, and I said that it was just maturing?
When I see you, I'll go straight back to that love we had in the very beginning. The addiction to everything you say, everything you do. I'll be clingy and people will see us kissing constantly because I won't be able to keep my lips off of you. I can't explain how I know this, but it's there.
It's this feeling deep, deep down in my gut, that pokes me every time I think about seeing you.
I could never forget how I feel about you.
I can't wait to fall asleep next to you, with my head on your chest, listening to the steady beat of your heart, knowing you're there if I ever need you.
I don't know how, but I know as soon as I see you, I won't be awkward, I won't be un-attracted to you, I won't be afraid to talk to you. I'll run to you, and hug you, and kiss you and to be honest, I'll probably cry too. I won't know what to do, so everything I do will seem different to you, because I'm just trying to get used to sharing air with you. There's no way I will instantly fall out of love with you. There's no way I'll have any negative feelings toward you.
Do you remember when you told me I started loving you differently, and I said that it was just maturing?
When I see you, I'll go straight back to that love we had in the very beginning. The addiction to everything you say, everything you do. I'll be clingy and people will see us kissing constantly because I won't be able to keep my lips off of you. I can't explain how I know this, but it's there.
It's this feeling deep, deep down in my gut, that pokes me every time I think about seeing you.
I could never forget how I feel about you.
I can't wait to fall asleep next to you, with my head on your chest, listening to the steady beat of your heart, knowing you're there if I ever need you.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
February 17th, 2009
I haven't written anything to you for so long, probly because it seems like you're always there when I need you, through texting, on the computer, or on the phone. I wish you could be here in person whenever I needed you, because then I could just make up reasons to need you =]
Today was rough, I know it was. I don't know why, but I felt on edge all day, and when you didn't send me a picture exactly when I wanted it, I blew up. I didn't mean to, but, I did, and I'm sorry. A couple of the reasons I was on edge; as yearbook editor, I get signed up for shit when I'm not there, such as, camera for games, extra pages, etc. So today, I found out that I got the last page, and the deadline is in a couple weeks. I have barely begun to work on all my other pages! In algebra, I keep getting behind on lessons, and I get more and more assigned everyday, and I just can't keep up. Most of the time, I forget how to do the last thing I learned when there's a new lesson, and I just can't clear enough space in my brain to keep this math stuff in there, permanently! I know its important, but for some reason, I still fight it.
Right now, I just feeling like venting; screaming, crying, smashing things, and then cuddle up with you and calm down. I want a hot bath because my muscles ache, I want warmer weather, because my toes bother me everyday. I want to be out of Hulett for good, so I don't have to put up with anymore shit from this town.
I know you have to go, so I'll end this. I love you so much. From the tip of my cold, purple toes, all the way up to the top of my head :]
Saturday, February 7, 2009
February 7. 2009
Kyle-
I can't wait to finally be able to be with you. I'm so excited to almost be done with school, because it means I'm going to be able to fall asleep with you every night. You may think so, but I don't want you just for sex. It seems like it now, because I can't seem to get enough of you. It's insane how much I love you, because I've never ever loved anyone like this before. Not even close. I feel like I could tell you anything, and I'm always so surprised by how accepting you are of me, and all of my flaws. You are absolutely perfect for me. Everything about you was made for me. Every time I read something, or listen to music about love, I instantly think about you, and the rest of our lives. I just wish high school was over, so I could get away from this drama, this family, this town. All I wanna do is just be with you. I hope you know that it doesn't matter where we are, or how much money you make, I don't care about any of that. It doesn't matter at all. After what happened last night, I finally see that none of that matters. I always thought that our house, how many kids we have, their names, our cars and all that was happiness. But not anymore. I know, I'm repeating myself so much, but i can't seem to get everything out in the right way. All I know is that I love you, and you love me, and I'm glad I have that much. You're everything to me. I always want you around. I breathe for you, baby, and without you, there would be no reason to live.
I love you so much.
-Cassandra
I can't wait to finally be able to be with you. I'm so excited to almost be done with school, because it means I'm going to be able to fall asleep with you every night. You may think so, but I don't want you just for sex. It seems like it now, because I can't seem to get enough of you. It's insane how much I love you, because I've never ever loved anyone like this before. Not even close. I feel like I could tell you anything, and I'm always so surprised by how accepting you are of me, and all of my flaws. You are absolutely perfect for me. Everything about you was made for me. Every time I read something, or listen to music about love, I instantly think about you, and the rest of our lives. I just wish high school was over, so I could get away from this drama, this family, this town. All I wanna do is just be with you. I hope you know that it doesn't matter where we are, or how much money you make, I don't care about any of that. It doesn't matter at all. After what happened last night, I finally see that none of that matters. I always thought that our house, how many kids we have, their names, our cars and all that was happiness. But not anymore. I know, I'm repeating myself so much, but i can't seem to get everything out in the right way. All I know is that I love you, and you love me, and I'm glad I have that much. You're everything to me. I always want you around. I breathe for you, baby, and without you, there would be no reason to live.
I love you so much.
-Cassandra
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
January 28, 2009
Ky-
Erica is being such a bitch. She's seriously mimicking everything I say! Even if its not not directed at her. God, how freaking immature can you get!? At lunch, when I walked by the table she was sitting at, after Brandon, Zack and Joe texted her, and she's like, "Why don't you sit somewhere where you can fucking say things to my face, whore!? I just laughed. And all the girls, except Shasta and Lacey hate me, but the boys are like, "She's a bitch! The girls are sluts, who cares? We got your back." She's been threatening to hit me and shit, and both Zack and Brandon are like, "You could take her! And we'll help!"
Erica is being such a bitch. She's seriously mimicking everything I say! Even if its not not directed at her. God, how freaking immature can you get!? At lunch, when I walked by the table she was sitting at, after Brandon, Zack and Joe texted her, and she's like, "Why don't you sit somewhere where you can fucking say things to my face, whore!? I just laughed. And all the girls, except Shasta and Lacey hate me, but the boys are like, "She's a bitch! The girls are sluts, who cares? We got your back." She's been threatening to hit me and shit, and both Zack and Brandon are like, "You could take her! And we'll help!"
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